About angelx

I love :webkins-cats-dogs-CRISS ANGEL-& aol! My e-mail is redfireangel2@aol.com!My mom has a shop, the site is www.something2shopabout.com :-) When you visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so

you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn , you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.

You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would freak if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!'

Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail .

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

Send this to all women that need a good laugh

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...

Hard to Find Supportive

Comfortable

Always Lifts You Up

Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging

And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

Share this with a friend! I Just Did! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Criss Angel was born Christopher Nicholas Sarantakos on December 19, 1967 in East Meadow, New York. Criss first became fascinated by magic at the age of six when his Aunt Stella showed him a card trick. He began by performing at birthday parties, nightclubs, and various private events. His magical career began when he participated in the World of Illusion at Madison Square Garden in 1998, eventually segueing into a Broadway show entitled "Criss Angel Mindfreak." As a magician, he has won several of the industry's awards, such as the IMS Magician of the Year in 2001 and 2004, and the Academy of Magical Arts' Magician of the Year award in 2005. In 2005, a series named after his Broadway show started airing on the A&E network, in which he performed various magical tricks for people.~~~~~Beginning when he was six years old, Criss Angel immersed himself in a multitude of art forms, from performance artist and musician to mystifier and provocateur. Since then, a relentless work ethic combined with enormous talent, skill and vision has perpetuated Criss as one of the most provocative artists of our day. From creator, executive producer and director of his #1 rated television series on A&E (Criss Angel MINDFREAK) countless television specials, live shows, music albums, and more - Criss has redefined the term "artist" for the 21st Century.

Criss had the highest advance tickets sales during his fourteen month/600 performance off-broadway run of Criss Angel MINDFREAK of which he created, produced, directed and starred in. Criss Angel MINDFREAK (the television show) is currently on schedule to film its 70th episode in its unprecedented third season shot at The Luxor Hotel and Casino, Las Vegas. The television show notably ranks #1 in countless international markets and the first 2 season dvds have consistently been the #1 and #2 best selling DVDs in A&E's history. Prominent publishing house, Harper Collins released Criss' highly anticipated first book, Criss Angel MINDFREAK: Secret Revelations in April 2007 and he has already added the accolade of best selling author to his credit as his book made it to the LA TIMES bestseller list.

Criss has also received numerous awards throughout his career. He was named 2001, 2004, 2005, 2007 and 2008 Magician of the Year, making him the first five-time / back-to-back recipient ever to be awarded these most prestigious accolades. Criss was also unanimously selected as the recipient of the 22nd Louie Award for outstanding achievement in the art of magic. Throughout the years, Criss Angel has also been featured on NBC's Las Vegas, The Late Show With David Letterman, Late Nite with Conan O'Brien, the Late, Late show with Craig Fergusen, the Ryan Seacrest morning show, The Opie and Anthony show, Ellen, Jimmy Kimmel Live, CNN, FOX, NBC, ABC, CBS, Foxs News Channel, E!, Spike, MTV, The Howard Stern Show, WB, VHI, TLC, UPN, TNN, Playboy Channel, and The Discovery Channel and has garnered international coverage on the largest rated television networks in the world.

Criss Angel MINDFREAK season 3 premiered to unprecedented ratings drawing close to 3 million viewers making it the # 1 cable television show in its timeslot. Season 4, slated to start pre-production in September 2007, will culminate in a memorable 100th episode, a mark seldom reached by any television show in history.

Most recently, Criss was featured as Luke Blade, in an episode of CSI:NY of which scored unprecedented highs for the series in the 18-49 year old demographic and was the #1 show in its timeslot. In addition, Criss has been featured on the Oprah Winfrey show, the VH1 Rock-Honors Awards performing and introducing legendary honoree Ozzy Osbourne, as well as having a cover story done on him in the popular auto mag, DUB.

Criss has been both the #2 and #1 most searched name on Yahoo.com in consecutive weeks, is an accomplished musician having produced and performed on five self-titled cd's, has appeared in arenas coast-to-coast including Madison Square Garden in which he performed for over 80,000 people over a short sold-out run, and broke all-time records at Borders Books and Music, For Your Entertainment, Virgin Megastores and countless other outlets for most fans to attend a signing. Criss held the most successful merchandise signing of the complete North American chain of Borders Books and Music for the year 2006.

Criss Angel's overwhelmingly dominates the internet as his demonstrations have been viewed on YouTube.com a staggering 5 times more frequently than David Blaine and 10 times more frequently than David Copperfield. CrissAngel.com is visited by more unique visitors each month than any magician in internet history. Criss' merchandise sales have exceedingly surpassed any artist of his kind and rival the most influential artists in any music genre today.

Criss most recently inked his first network deal to star as a judge on NBC's "PHENOMENOM." The reality series will showcase self- proclaimed Mentalists as they perform "so-called" supernatural demonstrations in the hopes of being crowned the world's "next great Mentalist."

In an unprecedented collaboration, Criss has partnered with Cirque Du Soleil to on a new live show which will be opening late summer at the Luxor Hotel and Casino Las Vegas. Without a doubt, Criss Angel is single-handedly responsible for magic's most recent resurgence in popular culture. In August 2008, Criss was rated the top male reality spot on Yahoo.com., and over 50000 fans showed up for his Building Implosion Escape live on A&E, AETV.com and CrissAngel.com. More info on criss along with his merchandise line can be found at www.crissangel.com